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❤Mommy Birthday 2012❤

It's February and guess what, it's Mommy's birthday. On the month of February, I would remember nothing but Mommy's birthday. People will be talking about Valentine's plan and so on, but to me, it will never be as exciting as Mommy's birthday. I have no plans on Valentine's but for the very special day, 17th of February, I'm all in. Arranging my time and schedule in order to make myself available for Mommy. I drove all the way back to hometown,*alone* it was my first time actually, but I was happy and excited to meet Mommy. This year I bought Mommy a green tea cake from RT Bakery. It was a last minute shopping and I doubted that it will be good. To my surprise Mommy loves it and she was happy that all of us were back for her birthday. What would the heart of a mother expect other than having her own children by her side? Happy Birthday to my dearest Mommy.

*****CottonBall & Mommy***** 

*****Make a Wish***** 

*****Puff*****

*****May All The Birthday Wishes Come True*****

*****Heart*****

*****My Everything*****

As for the fourteen, a surprise hearty breakfast was ready on thr table as i woke up in the morning. Unlike everyone else who were busy celebrating with their couple at exclusive restaurant for a candle light dinner, I spent my valentine's with my love one at Genting. One of my favorite must do while I'm at Genting , tadaa... having my favorite Vanilla Latte at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Cafe. It was a simple day out yet a memorable one for me. This is what I call Little Happiness. 小小的幸福！And I had a pinkish valentine's with pink roses and pink cupcakes.

*****Hearty Breakfast*****

*****Little Pinkish Valentine's*****

*****Spot the Rainbow***** 

*****I'm loved even by the Waiter***** 

*****Check out for more of my bits & pieces*****

Love,

Alyssa Cross

~xoxo~

❤Honda Conference❤

February has been good to me so far. I was called up for a last minute job, a day before the rehearsal at the Renaissance Hotel, KL as the usher for the Honda conference managed by those from China. What that I really learn here is they are very specific with what they actually wanted, perfectionist and super fast like the bullet train. Can't even waste a minute to slack or rest. To them, time equals to money. Not a single mistake, or else we're doomed. Thanks to my lovely babe, Hanli, I'm definitely felt glad that I took up these job. Was reluctant to work as it's way too last minute to inform me, and my travelling journey to the working place took me about an hour without traffic jam. 

First day of rehearsal, I was late for 10 minutes, I thought I would be the last one and yet I was the third one to reach. Five of them were still on their way. The worst part was, there's a lot of break in between the time for rehearsing which I actually felt that it's a waste of time. Why can't they just do it all at one go? O well, I'm just the usher, no authority to complain. However, the person who took care of us was really nice and kind. At least, there's something to be happy about. Otherwise, working with people from China gonna be difficult.

We're supposed to end out rehearsing at 10pm but there's some unexpected situation and we ended around 11pm. Tired to the max, however the boss made our day. Additional wages to all of us with a free white heels. Thank you for being such a considerate person as I didn't expect that the client will give some additional wages, which isn't a small amount either. Like the saying goes, expect less, more will come.

The uniform was a red elegant dress, and I think it definitely carried the taste of the China client. I wouldn't have bought that dress if it was me.  Enjoyed my day working, and happy to meet all those pretty babes, really broaden my experience, as well as my social network. Doing freelance isn't that bad at all. I'm loving my job and my life now.

*****My working pass*****

*****Renaissance Hotel's washroom*****

*****The lovely babes*****

*****My red dress*****

*****Full dress code, getting ready to work*****

Love,

Alyssa Cross

~xoxo~

❤New Chapter of 龍宝宝❤

A beginning is only the start of a journey to another beginning, a quote that gives me a new life, a new hope, and a new beginning. As the 龍宝宝 of the year, I vowed to work harder to live better. Throughout Year 2011, I had a insignificant experience of life, which taught me to grow up, or should I say it makes me a better person. I would love to erase it from my memory, unless I have lost my memory, these seems to be impossible. Rather than crying over a split milk, it's a valuable lesson that I have learn. 

In Year 2011, it wasn't a good year to me. I've lost my beloved ones, screwed myself up in my education, life seems to be unorganized. Back then, I have no visions and dreams. Not knowing what is my goal and feeling lost as if guided by a blind. I spent my life wasting all my time and effort that I've been working on all these years. I can't tell that I've never regret what I've done because truly it's the worst decision I've ever made in my life. Time flies and it doesn't wait, life still goes on. I can't spend my entire life grieving over the past. All these has taught me to stand up strong and look forward to live in the present and future. One once told me, make peace with the past so that it doesn't spoil my future.

Being ill-treat, I've learn to appreciate ever little happiness that bless my life. Some might not think so, but money definitely can't buy happiness. However, living in a world of materialistic, without money you are nothing for sure.    Somehow, it's all depends on own personal thoughts and perspective. As for me, being independent would be the best option. Still, thanks to Heavenly Papa, I'm blessed with unconditional love by family, friends and the true one. These are the little things that makes me strong enough to stand up again, making all things new. Special thanks to all my beloved friends who tried real hard to cheer and comfort me throughout my hardest time, and not leaving me alone.

Some of the memorable experiences I have is that I was given a chance to try out some photo-shooting. Thanks to my photographer friends. And of course, I get to know some new friends during my freelance jobs, which I eventually enjoyed it very much. Guess doing freelance job has been a part of me to earn some extra pocket money.

*****Having fun being cute*****

*****Wishing on Christmas*****

*****Babes met during PC Fair*****

What that touched my heart is that my dear ex Nottingham-mates that never forget about me. We had a little hang out at The Gardens. Enjoyed every little bits singing and shopping with all of the lovely ones. I feel fortunate enough to be bless by such a wonderful friends. As the saying goes, a real friend is one who walks in while the rest of the world walks out.

*****Love my girls*****

Back then, I was invited by my dear friend, Hanli to join an event called 'Passion for Fashion'. Well, it was my first experience attending event that was held in a club called Rootz. The fashion walk was amazing but... I don't think that anyone would want to wear those outfit on the road. 

*****It's all about drinking and dancing*****

On Christmas, we had a little Christmas gathering dinner among photographer and freelance model at Souled-Out, Mount Kiara. The food is okay but the atmosphere is pretty amazing and comfortable. We had gift exchanged and guess what I've got...hair mask to strengthen and gives shine to my hair.

*****She's the adorable reindeer*****

On the other hand, how can I missed out church on Christmas. Along these years, Christmas production is always based on the stories in the Bible. One of the most unpredictable Christmas production, Chromeheart, based on the world fantasy filled with magic and sorcery. On Christmas eve, I attended the Candle Light service and it's all about the miracle of healing. Truly, God is a mighty God. During the service, people experienced the power of healing. One of the most significant scene is that a half-blind can finally see.

*****Family in Christ*****

Christmas is all about giving and blessing. What count the most is the presence of God and the family members. Being around at church has always been my favorite, a second home while I'm, away from my family. This is where I found peace and love. And look, one of my Christmas present, 365, with a little message written by my beloved Pastor! This is going to build up the faith and draw me closer to Heavenly Papa. I'm loved.

*****Favorite of  the Year*****

Speaking of the word, it's Chinese New Year. For most, this year is a little bit different for me. Just a small reunion dinner with my family members, six of us, included MyLittleCottonBall-QianQian, makes me realized the importance of family and treasure all of them more. I ensured all of my time is filled with agenda and plans so that I would remain busy all day long but my intention to bake some cookies and cakes failed. Perhaps next time. Ain't not a good or even professional pâtissier but practice makes perfect. Brushing up my skills meanwhile I have the time. There's a lot of things that I wanted to do this year. Dance class, skating, language,  baking, business, and jobs perhaps?

*****My Little Cotton Ball*****

It has been a very tough year to me. All because of my senseless mind, I have been skipping church and cell group, quit serving in choir, stop praying and worshiping, by means no quiet time at all, and these sum up to total neglecting God. There is no other reasons why that my life is in such a mess. Lucky me, thanks to my ever supporting family in Christ especially my beloved leaders and Pastor, who never give up on my and yet continue to encourage and love me. Most importantly, thanks to Heavenly Papa for always being there to lift me up once again. Hence, my determination this year is to cultivate the habit of praying, worshiping and Bible meditation to stir up my spiritual life. Believing that by doing my own part and leaving the rest to Heavenly Papa with faith, everything will be alright.

These are a part of my new year resolution. Next, studies. Still cracking my brain for a suitable course. However, I've already got myself a secure placement. Let's just see how it goes. Pray that I've made the right choice.O gosh. My English seems to be real sucks right now. I've another IELTS to sit for. 


I have the feeling that this is gonna be a good year, a good start for a beginning of a new journey. I will absolutely jot down each and every bits of the moment. Stay tune and continue to walk with me. I believe this is going to be a fascinating year for me.

*****Future lies ahead*****

Love,

Alyssa Cross

~xoxo~

❤Helpless Love❤

There are days that will come for me to review back my life. I flipped back all the pages, and stories of my life. I found out that my blog has been very helpful, to keep myself fresh about my memories. Reading all my older blog post makes me realize things that I will never thought off. People that I care the most come and go, that's what we call life. Some stays, some leave. Some is still there but not downheartedly. I've been a very fortunate girl. One once told me, people around has been treating me real good (eg. MYKY) and yes, it's very true. It's time for me to grow, learn to stand up all by myself. I know that sooner or later you will be leaving because you are leaving now.Actions speak louder than word. Prioritize things before me, proven than I'm losing you shadow. Drifting apart, I no longer know who are you. I can say that, it's time for me to let go and not hording on to something that doesn't belongs to me.The moment I saw it, my heart shatters. I'm shivering inside of me. My mind starts turning round and round thinking what's going on. I was mad yet feeling blue and bitterness. I tried to hint, I tried to spit out indirectly. I was devastated. 

The one time before September ends, I tried to tell, that I need you. Wanted to be in your embrace again. I wanted to have our continued-newly written stories. I wish you had called. I wish you had came for me. I hold on to my breath and tears, leaving it unsaid. But it's just all that I can't say. My heart turns cold. I know not who are you, just like a Ditto. I can't tell if it's true again. Do you believe in miracles?I feel suffocated, being suspected all the time, having to hear an indirect harsh words, but turning around saying that you love me, I feel blank as the white. I asked myself, what's in my heart right now? Neither do I found my answers. I close my eyes, thinking if I would want to see you, but your image just fades away. 

Still, I wanted to remain my calmness, where do I have to go?Discovering what I've been through, I finally picked my dream education, and yet I let it shattered all alone in my hands due to my foolishness. I miss the time where it started, but there's nothing I can do to turn back time. None to blame but my own wrong judgment for something that isn't worth it at all. Never will I risk it again in exchange for what is important to me. Come to think, if you're on my side, you will ought to have the best for me and not putting me in such situation. Regrets, and yes a waste of time. Nothing but to make it all right again, stand strong and bring out the best in me. Think wise and pick carefully. Praying hard for all that I can do, and leaving the rest to Heavenly Papa.

*****Truly miss my life back then*****

Love,

Alyssa Cross

~xoxo~

❤The Pain of Love❤

What is it like to love a person? Someone once told me, no matter how much that person broke your heart into pieces, you'll never give up on him/her. You just want to stay with them for the rest of your life. 

How does it feel to sincerely tell a person that you truly love him/her? Shy, blush, warm? Or happiness? For once, saying 'I love you', it feels like, yer floating in the sky. Nothing seems to be perfect to you, but looking into his/her eyes, everything is perfect when both are together. Just like a child, knowing nothing but saying what they mean without lies. Happy and sweet. It feels the same when someone you love tells you that, but what happens when your respond is only a nod?

Saying for the sake of saying it, it's like...' Okay, I've said it and that's it. My job is done.' Living in a relationship like this, yer just torturing yourself, wasting all your time and life for nothing. You don't see that there's a future for you.

What is happiness then? A feeling when there's someone who will let you feel that you own the whole world. Nothing matters at all because the only thing you need is him/her. One that will never leave you no matter what happen. It's a feeling of needing nothing but only him/her. LV, Chanel, Gucci, Prada, Hermes, Jimmy Choo's and so on can't buy your heart.

What is promise? Promise is not a solution. The only solution is to act, but actions take time. To prove a thing takes time. Knowing whether it is worth of waiting or not? Trust your feeling. It will tell you the truth.

Telling one that you'll do this and that, get this and that, buy this and that...I tell you the truth, this is all bullshyt. The only feeling you'll get is not love, but just a materialistic pathetic life.

Moving on to fast in a relationship isn't good at all. A person seems to turn into a monster day by day when you actually get to know him/her. Everything may seems to be perfect in the beginning, but when time comes, hurtful words, harsh temper, insincerity, everything starts to reveal itself. A life that you are expecting turn out to be a misery.

Sometimes, even when you did care about him/her but they do not think it that way, it crushes your heart into pieces. The one that truly love, understands you more than anything else and that's all you need. This is when you know you have found the one.

On the other hand, why want to start reading the same book again when you know how it will end? Could there be a miracle that the storyline will change? This is confusing. But think again, does it worth for you to risk your time again for a miracle?

*****Stays, Always*****

Love,

Alyssa Cross

~xoxo~

❤Love It or Leave It❤

It's the 3rd day of the month of July. I wonder if I'm under depression. Or what... I am still the same old me. My stubborn-ness leads me to hell. Academic, relationships, career and so on. Frankly speaking, I intend to let it be a whole new world. Strive hard enough to fight my own feelings, somehow I've failed. I couldn't do it as how it was planned. My last minute habit is still there, that is why my results ain't going any better.

First thing to focus from today onwards, study smart. I've been away from church for months, looks like it's time to go home. Secondly, be active in church again, no matter how far the distance is. Family always come first. No one, not every a single person could ever replace them. Love my family. Friends, those whom I deserve to call them my friends, always stand by me. Thanks a lot MyDearS, Baby, BB, Bei, Hanny,MYKY and every one else.

Of course, memories do hurt, from time to time, I think of you. Wondering, if you would accept me again. Yes indeed you've made it clear, there's no turning back for our sisterhood. What I can say for now, accept the fact and move on. Learn my mistake and never take anyone who truly loves me for granted. Seeing you happy, everything is worthwhile for me to move on alone. My emotion ain't stable. It goes up and down, yet I didn't know what to do. Everything undecided. How I wish there's someone who would decide it for me.

Relationship ain't going on well for me this year. Feeling threaten by harsh words, not knowing whether I should trust again. Truth is always there. You can't hide it for long. I've learnt mine and everyone else should. Days that I found out the truth, the more I think the more I get. Was it a coincident? Or it is just the truth? Again, I don't think I will ever put my trust in, anymore. Sorry doesn't mean everything. Once broken consider sold. How can you mend back a broken glass? There will still be scars in a wounded heart. I tried to recall back any of my happy moments, but I found nothing in us but plenty in others. Another disastrous year, please be gone.

Love,

Alyssa Cross

~xoxo~