There are several questions that I just don't get it. Was it wrong to hope or want your partner to be able to have a better life? I understand if you're working hard enough to try to improve, but not for those who did not even try to do anything about it, and yet just sit around doing nothing wasting time, and claimed that I should be satisfied with my life now. How on earth can I be satisfied seeing you doing nothing, not even having a proper income. There's so much that you could do about your life. For an intelligent person like you, you could have a better life, but yet telling me this is enough for you have not tried anything to improve but just sitting around doing nothing, sleep all day?
Yes, I admit that I want a better life. Who wouldn't want it? Everyone wants a better life, and that's for sure. A better life from the same person, and not from a different person. Yes, we do have expectation, but I expect more from the same person. Are you expecting more from a different person? If you were to have a better life, you would expect to have someone younger or prettier? Is that all what yer looking for all this while? Physical satisfaction? You once seek for a younger and prettier one. And that's the excuse you have for not working harder, or even try to gain a better life? Just because you have nothing, therefore you can love me, and from the day you have something, you can no longer love me, just because of physical satisfaction? It's true that when you have something, there'll will be millions of flies surrounding you, or perhaps someone even better that me? So what? At the end of the day, it only comes to one conclusion, that is your heart. If you truly love me, even someone better appears, you wouldn't even had an eye on her. So, you tell me that you would want someone better than me when you have something? Is that all the reason you can give me? Or maybe you just never truly love me, hoping to get someone better from time to time? O yes, do bear in mind, I'm a QUICK LEARNER, and I LEARN FAST!
You concluded that I am selfish. I wouldn't deny that because I learnt to be selfish and to love myself more from what you have done to me. From others point of view, they may mocked at me, gossip at me that I've once left you, being ungrateful. People may sympathized you, said that you're just too good for me, or even stupid enough to forgive me and have me back. I do not care what they would think or rumors about me, because they are just an idiotic jackass that doesn't know what's behind the curtain, a true story that was buried. My lesson, stop bragging about how much you love me because I will never ever trust you. If that's what you said, that's what you will get! I do not speak out of anger, but out of the voice of a young girl with broken heart, not just into two, but crushed into ashes.
Love,
Alyssa Cross
~xoxo~
It is not because I love you just a little bit, it is because I love you too much, that is why I am trying so hard to be happy. Love and hate are equal. When you just love a little, you would just hate a little. Hence, vice versa. A little of love and a little of hatred, it is just so easy to get along. You move on and forget about everything.