There are days that will come for me to review back my life. I flipped back all the pages, and stories of my life. I found out that my blog has been very helpful, to keep myself fresh about my memories. Reading all my older blog post makes me realize things that I will never thought off. People that I care the most come and go, that's what we call life. Some stays, some leave. Some is still there but not downheartedly. I've been a very fortunate girl. One once told me, people around has been treating me real good (eg. MYKY) and yes, it's very true. It's time for me to grow, learn to stand up all by myself. I know that sooner or later you will be leaving because you are leaving now.Actions speak louder than word. Prioritize things before me, proven than I'm losing you shadow. Drifting apart, I no longer know who are you. I can say that, it's time for me to let go and not hording on to something that doesn't belongs to me.The moment I saw it, my heart shatters. I'm shivering inside of me. My mind starts turning round and round thinking what's going on. I was mad yet feeling blue and bitterness. I tried to hint, I tried to spit out indirectly. I was devastated.
The one time before September ends, I tried to tell, that I need you. Wanted to be in your embrace again. I wanted to have our continued-newly written stories. I wish you had called. I wish you had came for me. I hold on to my breath and tears, leaving it unsaid. But it's just all that I can't say. My heart turns cold. I know not who are you, just like a Ditto. I can't tell if it's true again. Do you believe in miracles?I feel suffocated, being suspected all the time, having to hear an indirect harsh words, but turning around saying that you love me, I feel blank as the white. I asked myself, what's in my heart right now? Neither do I found my answers. I close my eyes, thinking if I would want to see you, but your image just fades away.
Still, I wanted to remain my calmness, where do I have to go?Discovering what I've been through, I finally picked my dream education, and yet I let it shattered all alone in my hands due to my foolishness. I miss the time where it started, but there's nothing I can do to turn back time. None to blame but my own wrong judgment for something that isn't worth it at all. Never will I risk it again in exchange for what is important to me. Come to think, if you're on my side, you will ought to have the best for me and not putting me in such situation. Regrets, and yes a waste of time. Nothing but to make it all right again, stand strong and bring out the best in me. Think wise and pick carefully. Praying hard for all that I can do, and leaving the rest to Heavenly Papa.
*****Truly miss my life back then*****
Love,
Alyssa Cross
~xoxo~
