It's the 3rd day of the month of July. I wonder if I'm under depression. Or what... I am still the same old me. My stubborn-ness leads me to hell. Academic, relationships, career and so on. Frankly speaking, I intend to let it be a whole new world. Strive hard enough to fight my own feelings, somehow I've failed. I couldn't do it as how it was planned. My last minute habit is still there, that is why my results ain't going any better.
First thing to focus from today onwards, study smart. I've been away from church for months, looks like it's time to go home. Secondly, be active in church again, no matter how far the distance is. Family always come first. No one, not every a single person could ever replace them. Love my family. Friends, those whom I deserve to call them my friends, always stand by me. Thanks a lot MyDearS, Baby, BB, Bei, Hanny,MYKY and every one else.
Of course, memories do hurt, from time to time, I think of you. Wondering, if you would accept me again. Yes indeed you've made it clear, there's no turning back for our sisterhood. What I can say for now, accept the fact and move on. Learn my mistake and never take anyone who truly loves me for granted. Seeing you happy, everything is worthwhile for me to move on alone. My emotion ain't stable. It goes up and down, yet I didn't know what to do. Everything undecided. How I wish there's someone who would decide it for me.
Relationship ain't going on well for me this year. Feeling threaten by harsh words, not knowing whether I should trust again. Truth is always there. You can't hide it for long. I've learnt mine and everyone else should. Days that I found out the truth, the more I think the more I get. Was it a coincident? Or it is just the truth? Again, I don't think I will ever put my trust in, anymore. Sorry doesn't mean everything. Once broken consider sold. How can you mend back a broken glass? There will still be scars in a wounded heart. I tried to recall back any of my happy moments, but I found nothing in us but plenty in others. Another disastrous year, please be gone.
Love,
Alyssa Cross
~xoxo~
