❤MIX❤

Everything is finalized and there's a relief in me.Phhewww~I feel really happy and excited for the days to come as I believe that it's going to be an awesome experience.Frankly speaking,I'm actually quite anxious and worry for what is going to happen next.Surrounded by brilliant people,I felt like hiding at a corner by myself.Somehow,this wouldn't go the way I thought it will.It's just the same feeling when I first entered into college or should I say,it's like when I first entered NS,and yet God never failed to walk with me along the journey,sending me angels.

The place is really green,there are hills and trees,not to mention lakes.It's like a paradise,an amazing place to study.I don't know whether is this a self-comforting or what so ever,Mommy pretty much likes it there,and yes I love it too but....being such a timid shy person,I would say I feel really hard to push myself to face new people as well as getting adapted to the new environment.People are being really kind but I doubt that if it's true.

Speaking about meeting new people,I felt insecure when someone just treated me so well even on the very first day.Maybe...they are just being nice for the sake of being it or maybe they are just nice in person or it's just their responsibility.O well,it doesn't matter,that wasn't the main purpose why I'm going for it.Aiming for the best out of the best,I intend to give it all that I can.Although people think that I'm not going to survive there as it is such a rural,secluded area but I find it pretty interesting with all the facilities,society and clubs.As for my lecturers,they are really,I mean REALLY cool,I bet I'm going to make it through well.It ain't gonna be easy as what Dr Morris advised,work hard but play HARDER!!!

Need to re-schedule my daily routine from today onwards.First thing first,Girl!

So....BYE CARDIFF!!! and HELLO NOTTINGHAM!!!

A brilliant Thanks to BelovedMommy for always being there for HerBabyGirl!!!

It's like first few days in kindergarten~

I really felt like a lil baby*Blush*Should I be happy or what?@@Bless!!!

Love,

AlyssaCross

~xoxo~

❤It's hard to please❤

How can you actually tell that a person really do care about you?Even if they do,only with motives.How many of them really care without any intention?Or even care because they truly love you without asking anything in return?There's always a border line between friends,especially when it comes to the opposite gender.Friends come and go throughout life.It's just the way it is,but only those that would remain still being a part of your life,I would say,they are more than just friends,someone who is dear to me,being MyFamily member.It seems difficult to let go,somehow,to move on with my own life,I need to do so.

I wonder,or even doubt if my life will be better without you?Nothing that I can regret about as it is just a past.I've done all I can to treat each and everyone the best I could,but it seems like...it's not enough.People just have different expectations,some expect more than anything else,some would be moderate and some...they are just happy enough as long as yer there for them.When things went wrong,they tend to walk off my life,or even when they get nothing in return.All I can say is that I wish you a happy life

.However,I have faith in Papa,the best is yet to come.Someone that has been watching over me long before my days started.There's always trials and errors in life I would say,and this is where I learn to be a better person,to know who are and always will be my family members.

For all the broken relationships that I had before,even though I apologised and pleaded for a second chance that was not given,it's not countless...hmmm maybe 2 or 3 or more???Well,the work of healing is in the process,the good memories will always remain in my heart,something precious that I can never get,you taught me a lesson.Thank you for leaving and not giving me a second chance.

Nevertheless,I'm grateful to have people that would truly accept me the way I am,love me unconditionally no matter what,you are my precious.No words to describe how thankful am I to have you.To BB,thanks for always being there even at times when I was wrong and treated you wrongly.For a loving Papa that send angels into my life.

Love,

AlyssaCross

~xoxo~

❤Face it❤

Many things have been running through my mind.I thought I could get over it,sorted it out one by one,however it turned out to be a disaster.I tried to make things right,but it always appeared to be wrong.There's always something that would tell me about your true self.Should I say...I just lucky enough that it always pops out itself without needing me to check it out myself.Don't try to twist and turn,the moment I hear that very one tone of your voice,the moment I saw that expression,I knew that yer lying.I gave you chances to explain but ended up yer trying to escape.Well...it's okay I had enough,I believe,so as you do.Yer just one despicable,obnoxious person.It makes me feel so sick.I'm giving a smooth sailing to you.Travel safe.

I guess the drought has lasted for quite some time,but it rained heavily today and it was filled again.Haven't felt so cosy for ages.Time flies and now that yer leaving,I didn't had a chance to even have a glimpse.Sorry that I lied as I didn't want you to fret.

And...I guees I'm out with my decision.70% for Nottingham and 30% for Taylor's.Still under discussion.Cross my heart that I would make a right one and be firm about it.Even though I felt a lil reluctant to start my studies,I doubt that I am ready for it.However delaying it won't make it any better.It might be that I am just avoiding it.Final decision will be tomorrow.Heavenly Papa,please guide me.I need Your peace!!!

MyLilCottonBall just won't leave my side.He follows me everywhere I go and only me.I think he's more than an elephant glue,sticking to me all the time even when I'm sleeping,he is so hesitant to get off my bed.MyBoy~Yer existance soothe my heart everytime when I am down.

*****MyLilCottonBall*****

Good night for now!

Love,

AlyssaCross

~xoxo~

❤Insincerity❤

Sometimes,the feeling of wanting too much will actually cause you to be unconscious of making the right decision.No matter how many times that I try to make it right,unwillingness to change or forcing myself to change ain't gonna take me no where.At the end of the day,it will still remain the same.

My Life gets kinda boring.Everynight I lay on my bed,looking up the sky full of stars,I need another story,something that I can confess,without a mask on me.I've been on the brink,honesty is just a lonely word,everyone is being so untrue,neither being true to myself.I knew and I knew it but I just kept it hiding within my vision and let it linger beside me,obviously I can see the result.It's GONE!

Look how amazing I've gone this far,people are on your side not mine,belittle and assaulted me to the lowest.I don't care if all never gets in line,no longer chasing after the stars.I don't need another puzzle!I don't need another guess!I don't really like my flow and I'm going to refine it.Stay original and not gonna let it disappear.No one to blame for,no one to look for,it's all about me that I have a story.

 

Loneliness has always been a friend of mine

Love,

AlyssaCross

~xoxo~



❤Blessed❤

To bless?Or to be blessed?What would you choose?

There are certain time that we would forget to bless others.Sometimes,we tend to take more than we give.At time,we complaint too much,on our work,our studies,our daily routine,our relationship with family and friends,our responsibility and etc,What do you get at the end of the day of complaining?Easy said yet I've been struggling so hard to do it.However,everything need a baby steps to start.Once I am willing to sacrifice,just a lil,I would say,everything feels worth it and pays off with a smile from your heart.The more I give,the happier I am.Some might not be that significant and some might taken up my whole paycheque,being appreciated by those who really cares bout every little deeds I've done,I feel as if I'm over the moon.Indeed God will never shortchange me.I am blessed and still am, with wonderful people around me.I would choose,to see you happy and everything is worthwhile for me to do.

Lesson of the day:Learn to BLESS others!

Time, when I didn't know what to do or how should I?It has started for good reasons,if that's the way it is...it's gonna be it.Much to do but I didn't want to think NO MORE!!!What am I seeking for?I am yet to discover who am I!

Dilemma:Can someone decide for me?Off to Nottingham?OR wait for another few months for Taylor's?

*p/s:I'm loving MyLife&Job>.<

Love,

AlyssaCross

~xoxo~