Sunday, September 30, 2012

❤It's Just Me❤

Once again, I'm back to my very own cave. 'How are you?', is the most common question that people would ask everyday. And I will answer 'I'm good!'. I wish to say that 'I'm good' for real one day. But I doubt that the day come.

Browsing through all the years on what I've blogged on, basically just to remind myself on what I have been through all these years, people I have met, things that I have done and so on. There is a season when I was at the peak and a season when I was at the core of the earth. Deep down in every saying, there is a lie.

I tried to make things right again, but I was turned down. Regrets over my immaturity, I should have just follow my heart. I can blamed no one but myself. I ought to erased you from my memory but I just can't stop having a peek of your life. Yes I can stop myself from looking and the only way is to delete. Once deleted it shall never return. I feel heavy-hearted and didn't want to do so. Why? It has been 3 years until now, memories still run through my mind on and off. Yet I know life has been good to you without me. Admitted now that I realized how much you treasured me but it's all useless now because apology wasn't accepted. Perhaps  I have hurt you so much that words can't describe. Why do I still look forward to be accepted?

I used to be strong in the past. Determination! Optimistic! Where have you all been? I lost track with God, my dream and desire. Even had everyone that He placed in my life cast off. Life's screwed because I left. Pieces scattered around. There is a possibility to put it back together again, but it will never be the same. Why would I want it to be the same? I can't even understand what's within me. What I'm yearning for? Convincing myself to venture what's ahead of me and not what's behind. I did it but just for a certain period of time. And there I go again, back to my own cave. Why is it that on and  on I turn around and look back? If miracle does exist, the one and only thing I would ask for, Time!



Love,
Alyssa Cross
~xoxo~